Esprit d'Escalier

A noun. A noun about a staircase. A special staircase. A noun about being clever. About having wits. One that could be a defining point in your life. A fascinating phrase, no doubt. About making a remark – but coming up with it a little too late. You’ve done this esprit d’Escalier before. Yes you have. It is a French term –The Spirit of the Staircase or even being wise after the event. So what does this all mean?

So you’re in a room with lots of people, perhaps it’s a party. Some friends are there. Maybe some family. Making things interesting, there’s even a few strangers in the room. Out of nowhere, someone in the room downright insults you. You could hear a pin drop. The hush over the room; the silence is deadening. Now, there’s dozens of eyes directed right at you – you’re under intense pressure. What do you say? What do you do? One thing is for sure, what you say next will be a lasting impression to all those in attendance. But wait. You say nothing. You freeze. Then, without thought, the night’s biggest blunder appears. “Well at least I don’t still live with my mom!”

Okay, so probably not the best comeback and certainly not very clever – even if they do still live with their mom. You storm out of the party. As you walk down the stairs out the door, it hits you. Ahhhh….the perfect comeback. It’s witty. Clever. Intriguing even. It’s too late though. If you go back, you’ll be even more humiliated than the initial insult. What do you do? Do you save it for next time you see this person? Forget about it. The moment has passed and even if it was a good and clever comeback, it’s too late.

Esprit d’Escalier. Has it happened to you? Do you want to share it with us? With the holidays here, we’ll all be in rooms with people we only get to experience once a year. Yes, that’s what I said. Emotions and turmoil will prevail. How you handle that will define you. The spirit of the staircase. Share with us your experiences with this French Phenomenon. You story could influence us all.